Today was a very....different...kind of day. I spent the day helping a small group of high school students prepare for Galt Idol, Alexander Galt Regional High School's annual singing competition. Man, can these kids ever sing. I wish that there had been a venue for me to "compete" with my voice when I was in high school. Sure, there were all sorts of singing events, coffee houses, variety shows.. But they didn't provide enough zing to fuel my competitive spirit. Combine that with a fear of messing up in front of my peers, and you have an explanation as to why I rarely publicly explored my singing abilities in my early years.
I'm reminded of a semi-traumatic experience that was most likely the root of the fear that I mentioned above. Picture this...Grade 5 Christmas concert, little Robbie bounds out onto the stage wearing rags in the role of Amahl from the musical "Amahl and the Night Visitors". My voice was still clinging to the purity of youth, filling the gymnasium where the play was held. I will never forget how often I was tormented in the months to follow. Oh sure, my family and close friends thought I was great (and I really was, too! I have video tape to prove it), but that did nothing to quell my reaction to the onslaught of negative commentary from elsewhere. It's funny how something as small as the opinions of your peers can affect your tendencies for as long as you let them.
I enjoy singing. Anyone who has lived with me or on the same block as me in recent years knows how often I'm belting out my favorite song of the hour/day/week. I make a point of getting up in front of crowds in Karaoke bars or talent nights, just to spite those little punks that wrecked the joy of singing for me when I was younger. If you're good at something, then there are bound to be people out there that appreciate you for your talents. Whatever you do, don't let the cynics win.
5 comments:
word. i've worked with professional singers my entire life, as a music director and accompanist, and it's intimidating for me. when i go to karaoke, there's my professional singer friends. and they get up there and they sing magnificently and i can't follow that, so i don't.
but recently i began performing... just a little... and it feels terrific.
Don't worry Rob. You can serenade me anyday.
I'm not sure the previous post ever had you "serenade" him or her in the car. Serenade is hardly the word. When you wind up it rattles the glass. Maybe only a few of us have had the rare opportunity to hear the truly uninhibited Rob. Amplification is completely unnecessary. Anyhow, you somehow survived the trials and tribulations of childhood, like most kids do. Kids can be miserable beasts but remember.....you were once one, and if I remember correctly there was no halo accompanying you. Smile, you survived and you're stronger for it.
Firstly, "on the same block as me"... I couldn't have put it better myself.
And secondly (and I know sentances can't start with and, but this is a comment on a blog and I will break all the rules I damn well please) I sence the all knowing voice of an elementary school teacher who had the pleasure of teaching a nine-year-old Rob Retchless on that last comment.
I will turn 39 tomorrow, and I have been singing since I was a toddler, according to Mom. When I was 16, I decided that I wanted to be an opera singer, so I began studying with a very famous Italian woman, who was marvelously kind and generous. For two years, she taught me gently and my tenor voice was warm and flexible (and very young).
When I graduated from high school, I went to the Oberlin Conservatory, where I studied with a very famous man, who was all about pressure to perform and be successful in the world of singing. (He was also an egomaniac, and completely lacking in insight or compassion.) After two years, my voice was so tight that I couldn't sing at all without excruciating physical or emotional pain. I switched teacher to another, kind and gentle man, and got a B.Mus. in voice performance. (You see the "kind and gentle" refrain, yes..?)
I was about to begin a masters program at another prestigious school, when my new teacher there called me an "enigma," and I decided that I had had enough. I gave up the dream and went to business school. (Curiously, as soon as I stopped studying, my singing began to improve.) That was 15 years ago.
Two and a half years ago, I went back to studying singing, again with a marvelously kind and gentle woman. I have resolved most of the "issues" of the past, but I am still crystal clear that I do not want the life of a professional singer. It's for joy alone.
That's a long story to say, Rob, that as far as I'm concerned, it's never too late to take up any love seriously, nor too early to be happy the rest of one's life in one's vocation. So, sing. If you want to study, get a teacher. Surround yourself with kind and gentle listeners, who will support you and tell you you're great. It will go best that way, without any competition. And I, too, will applaud!
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